Funny stuff

I think Blogger messed this up. I am able to post on Jakes blog. I wish I could think of something embarassing to write. Oh wait... I have one: Tyler licked Jake on the face tonight. And Jake liked it!

UPDATE:
I don't know if having somebody else posting on my blog is a good idea. As a correction, no one was actually licked. I (Jake) was in the process of licking Tyler as a method of self-defense. He was trying to smear the cake batter from his face onto mine, and I stuck out my tongue to lick it off so as to repulse Tyler and get his caked-up face away from mine. My tongue was indeed out, but I didn't inhale. I mean lick.

Ahh, Satire...

American Illegals Marching on Mexico City

More on immigration: 2 Beefs

Always something good at the Corner.

Beef #1: In accordance with my last post, illegal immigration is illegal. Do I need to expound?

Beef #2: The benefits of living in America are for Americans. (In accordance with the last post, don't get upset if there are house rules already in place. I'm reminded of that Terry Tate commerical, "You can't come in my kitchen, and kick my dog and take a box full of bone bites...")

This is America, I think we pretty much have well-defined borders and laws (see Beef #1). If you want to take advantage of the benefits that are offered for that group, be part of the group. Don't think I'm talking in Borg assimilation language. They actively sought out people to assimilate into themself. I'm just talking about the ones that want to be here and are already here.

I remember somebody at my college graduation saying something about the benefits and yada yada yada confered upon us with our degrees. Those benefits were for the people who earned their degrees, not for all the thousands of other people who happened to be in the Devany Center at the time.

This is a hell of a country and I love it here. But if you want to be a citizen or if you want this to be your country, there's two ways I can approve of it happening. Like I said before, we've got well-defined borders and laws. So it can happen...

1) Through legal means. This is the simple way about it, even though you may have to jump through a number of hoops. As my roommate has often said, "You gotta want it." If you want it bad enough, you'll do what it takes.

2) Through territorial conquest. If you want a small part of this country to be your own, I'm not too fond of giving it up without a fight. Bring it. (I'm an antagonist at heart....)

By the way, don't feel the need to read specific races or countries into this. I'm trying to be general because I have no ill will against any person or group of people that wants to come into this country. I think Mexico is alright; I'm going there this summer. But I'm not going to show up and start expecting benefits of citizenship that are afforded to their citizens under the laws of their land if I'm not included in them. Why? Because I'm not Mexican. I'm small town white boy. If you've got a problem with that, just let me know.

I'm done.

10 Years Ago

In light of the brouhaha that has descended concerning the topic of illegal immigration, I'd like to quote from Dennis Miller circa 1996. It was a tough cookie, but I managed to find the entire context of these quotes online.
Based upon my suspected audience, I'll state upfront that the other crap on the page (what little I saw of it) was mostly that: crap. Parts of Miller's rant were vulgar as well. All that to say I won't post a link, but if you're dying to know, leave a comment and I can hook you up.

To spare you the gory details, here are the best parts...

"Begrudging someone else's existence just happens to be the most convenient way to validate our own and nowhere are these ego-driven prairie skirmishes more prevalent than the Tigris and Euphrates of immigration--good old America. Now listen, I'm all for legal immigration but I am unequivocally against illegal immigration. You know why? IT'S ILLEGAL!"

"(T)he favor of inclusion deserves the courtesy of assimilation. Make the effort. It's poor party manners to come to live in this country and then have a hissyfit because the parking signs aren't posted in Homong. Don't get uptight because your college is teaching courses on Emerson and Thoreau instead of 17th Century Javanese goat herd poets, and don't take your kid out of school because his third grade classmate colored Easter eggs but didn't conduct any Druid rituals."

"In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, try to get along with your stepmotherland and don't be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place. Go with the flow, pay your taxes, speak the language, garlic is NOT a cologne and, for [pete]'s sake, LEFT LANE FAST, RIGHT LANE SLOW."

Theme song...

Not having a standard poll for my site, we're just going to do this the old-fashioned way. Leave a comment with your vote.

My theme song (unless I get whole album) should be:

-The Warrior, by Scandal (bang, bang)
-Smooth, by Rob Thomas (with Santana)
-Karma Chameleon, by Culture Club (I'm a man without convictions...)
-Baby I Love Your Way, by Peter Frampton (I got nothing)
-I'm Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred (bear in mind, 2/3 of RSF is bald...)
-Here I Go Again, by Whitesnake (I ain't wastin' no more time)
-Total Eclipse of the Heart, by Bonnie Tyler (Every now and then...)

WooHoo!

And there was much rejoicing...

Yes, the Tar Heels are out of it; but this kind of makes it all better.

Now this wasn't surprising at all...

You Are Dr. Pepper

You're very unique and funky, yet you still have a bit of traditionalism to you. People who like you think they have great taste... and they usually do. Your best soda match: Root Beer Stay away from: 7 Up

What Kind of Soda Are You?

And just for reference, I did not take the test multiple times until I got this outcome. I play dirty, but not like that.

Except for the no soul part, I was surprised

You Are 16% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?